Home › Guides

Christmas co-parenting schedules: fair ways to share the holidays

Updated 14 October 2026 · About 8 minutes to read · England and Wales

There's no legal rule in England and Wales that says which parent has the children at Christmas. If you don't have a court order, it's up to the two of you to agree. Most separated parents settle on one of a few patterns: alternating Christmas Day each year, splitting the day itself, splitting Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, or dividing the whole school holiday in half.

The fairest schedule is usually the one your children can enjoy without spending the day in the car, written down early so nobody has to argue about it in December. This guide sets out six common options with their pros and cons, a worked example using real 2026 dates, and what to do if you can't agree.

Who gets the children at Christmas?

If there's a child arrangements order, it may already say how holidays are shared, so check the wording first. If there isn't, gov.uk explains that you can agree arrangements between yourselves, with help from mediation if you need it, and only apply to court if you can't agree. [1] Things work differently in Scotland and Northern Ireland, so check mygov.scot or nidirect if you live there.

For the wider school holidays, term-time absence and taking children abroad over Christmas, see our guides to school holidays and handovers and taking a child abroad.

Start planning early

October or early November is a good time to agree Christmas. It gives you both time to book travel, arrange work and tell grandparents, and it means the children know the plan well before the end of term.

Cafcass, the service that represents children in family courts in England, suggests writing your arrangements into a shared plan, called "Our Child's Plan". This can include school holidays, bank holidays and special occasions, and how your child keeps in touch with the other side of the family. It advises only agreeing to things you can actually do. [2]

Ask the children, but don't make them choose

Cafcass encourages parents to listen to their child and show them their views have been taken into account, sharing as much of the plan as suits their age and understanding. [2] In practice:

• Younger children may simply want to know when they'll open presents and where Father Christmas is coming.
• Older children and teenagers often have strong views, about friends, a party or a family tradition. Ask what matters to them.
• Never ask a child to decide which parent they spend Christmas with. That puts the weight of a grown-up decision on them.

If you use mediation, children aged 10 and over should be offered the chance to talk to the mediator directly if they want to. The decisions stay with the parents. [3]

Six ways to share Christmas

1. Alternate years. One parent has Christmas Eve to Boxing Day this year, and the other has it next year.
Pros: no handover on the day, a relaxed Christmas in one home. Cons: a whole year's wait feels long, especially for the parent who misses out first.

2. Split the day. Morning in one home, then a handover after lunch or mid-afternoon.
Pros: both parents see the children on Christmas Day. Cons: only works if you live close by. Long drives, tired children and limited public transport on Christmas Day can spoil it.

3. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. One parent has Christmas Eve (and perhaps wakes up with the children on Christmas morning), the other has the rest of Christmas Day, swapping each year.
Pros: both get a special day. Cons: you need to agree a clear time for the switch.

4. Two Christmases. One home celebrates on the 25th, the other on Boxing Day or the following weekend, with a full second Christmas.
Pros: children often love it, and nobody rushes. Cons: some parents find "their" Christmas not being on the 25th hard.

5. Split the school holiday in halves. One parent has the first half of the break, including Christmas, and the other has the second half, including New Year. Swap the next year.
Pros: simple, fair on time, good for families who live far apart. Cons: longer gaps without seeing the other parent.

6. Christmas and New Year swap. One parent has Christmas, the other has New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, alternating each year.
Pros: easy to remember. Cons: New Year matters less to young children, so check it feels fair.

A worked example for Christmas 2026

Term dates vary by council and by school, and academies can set their own. Always check your children's school. As an example, North Tyneside Council in England has schools breaking up on Friday 18 December 2026 and going back on Monday 4 January 2027. [4] Christmas Day 2026 is a Friday, the Boxing Day bank holiday is on Monday 28 December, and New Year's Day is a Friday. [5]

Here's how one family might use the "halves plus two Christmases" approach in 2026:

• Sat 19 to Thu 24 December, 10am: with Dad.
• Thu 24 December, 10am to Sat 26 December, 2pm: with Mum (Christmas Eve and Christmas Day).
• Sat 26 to Wed 30 December, 2pm: with Dad, who has his "second Christmas" on Boxing Day.
• Wed 30 December to Sun 3 January: with Mum for New Year, ready for school on Monday.

In 2027 they swap, so Dad has Christmas Day. Gov.uk has a postcode search for council term dates in England and Wales. Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own pages on mygov.scot and education-ni.gov.uk, and their holiday dates are often different. [6]

Practical tips for a calmer Christmas

• Fix handover times and places, and allow for traffic and reduced public transport. Agree what happens if one of you is running late.
• Agree a rough present budget and who's buying the big present. Avoid competing. Children notice.
• Keep the other parent in the picture. A short phone or video call on Christmas Day, at an agreed time, helps many children. Cafcass also suggests letting grandparents and other relatives stay part of your child's life. [7]
• Plan for extended family. If grandparents only visit on certain days, build that into the schedule rather than asking for last-minute swaps.
• Let traditions live in both homes. Children can have a stocking in each house, different foods and different games. Two sets of traditions can be a good thing.
• Pack together. New presents, favourite toys, chargers and medicines often need to travel with the children.
• Keep handovers short and warm, and don't argue in front of the children. [7]

What if you can't agree?

• Try mediation. A mediator can help you find a plan, and the mediation voucher scheme can give up to £500 towards the cost in eligible cases. [1] See our guide to mediation, MIAMs and the voucher scheme. Mediation may not be suitable if there has been domestic abuse.
• Write it into a plan. Our parenting plan template has space for holidays and special days.
• Court is the last resort. A court can make a child arrangements order, which can set out holiday arrangements. Applications take time, so don't leave it until December. Our guide to child arrangements orders explains more.
• Don't stop contact without a good reason. If an order isn't followed, the other parent can ask the court to enforce it. The court can order unpaid work or compensation, for example for the cost of a missed holiday. [8] It will hear both sides and may decide there was a good reason. If you're genuinely worried about your child's safety, Cafcass says to contact the local authority where the child lives, or call 999 if there's immediate risk. [9]

When Christmas is hard

Spending Christmas without your children, especially the first time, can be very painful. Plan something for yourself, see friends, and remember that a second Christmas with them is still a real Christmas. If you need to talk:

• Samaritans: 116 123, free, any time, day or night. [10]
• Coram Family Lives (formerly Family Lives) parenting helpline: 0808 800 2222, free, Monday to Friday 9am to 9pm and weekends 10am to 3pm. [11]
• Gingerbread has online information for single parents. Its advice helpline closed in April 2025. [12]
• National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge): 0808 2000 247, free and open 24 hours. [13]
• Men's Advice Line (Respect): 0808 801 0327, Monday to Friday 10am to 5pm. [14]
• If anyone is in danger, call 999.

Our free help guide lists more services.

Sources

1. Gov.uk, Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate: gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce
2. Cafcass, How an 'Our Child's Plan' (formerly 'Parenting Plan') can help: cafcass.gov.uk
3. Family Mediation Council, Can my children be involved in sessions?: familymediationcouncil.org.uk
4. North Tyneside Council, School term dates 2026 to 2027: northtyneside.gov.uk
5. Gov.uk, UK bank holidays: gov.uk/bank-holidays
6. Gov.uk, School term and holiday dates: gov.uk/school-term-holiday-dates
7. Cafcass, Communicating with your child's other parent during separation: cafcass.gov.uk
8. Gov.uk, Making child arrangements: change or enforce an order: gov.uk
9. Cafcass, Complying with the order of the court and enforcement: cafcass.gov.uk
10. Samaritans, Contact a Samaritan: samaritans.org
11. Coram Family Lives, Confidential helpline: coramfamilylives.org.uk
12. Gingerbread, Talk to us: gingerbread.org.uk
13. National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge): nationaldahelpline.org.uk
14. Men's Advice Line (Respect): mensadviceline.org.uk

All sources checked on 12 October 2026.