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How to split child costs after separation

Updated 12 October 2026 · About 7 minutes to read · Mainly England, Wales and Scotland

Money is one of the most common sources of friction between two homes. Rent and food are only part of it: there are school shoes, trips, clubs, phones, birthday presents and the dentist. This guide explains the two main ways UK parents share the cost of raising children, how the government's Child Maintenance Service (CMS) works things out, and how to handle the "extras" without a row every month.

Who is child maintenance for?

Child maintenance is money towards a child's everyday living costs, paid by the parent who doesn't have the main day-to-day care (the "paying parent") to the parent who does (the "receiving parent"). The government says an arrangement is needed for a child who is under 16, or under 20 and in approved education or training. Child maintenance payments don't affect benefits, including Universal Credit, and aren't taxed. [1]

Option 1: a family-based (private) arrangement

If you can agree, you can arrange child maintenance between yourselves. The government calls this a private arrangement, and says it's up to you to decide how much the payments should be. It doesn't have to be a regular cash transfer, either. A private arrangement can include one parent paying for things such as housing, school uniform, trips or clubs, and it can be changed if your circumstances change. [2]

Private arrangements tend to work best when:

• you can talk about money calmly, even if you don't agree on everything;
• you both know what the children's regular costs actually are; and
• you write the agreement down, so there's no argument later about what was said.

Gov.uk has free tools to help: a guide to working out the cost of raising your children, a guide to planning the conversation, and a form to record what you agree. [2] A private arrangement isn't legally binding on its own, so if it breaks down you can still go to the CMS.

Option 2: the Child Maintenance Service

If you can't agree, or you'd rather an official body worked it out, you can use the CMS. You start with an online service called Get help arranging child maintenance. It explains your options and gives you a reference number, which you need before you can apply. If you can't use the online service, you can call the CMS. [3]

It's free to apply. The £20 application fee was scrapped from 26 February 2024. [4]

You usually can't use the CMS if you have a court consent order about maintenance that is less than a year old, or, usually, if the paying parent lives and works abroad. [5] The CMS covers England, Wales and Scotland. In Scotland, a child aged 12 or over can apply themselves. Northern Ireland has its own service through nidirect. [5] [8]

How much child maintenance will I pay? How the CMS works it out

The CMS looks at the paying parent's gross weekly income (before tax), the number of children, other children the paying parent supports, and how many nights the children stay with the paying parent. The main rates are: [6]

• Nil rate: income under £7 a week.
• Flat rate: £7 a week, if income is £7 to £100 a week or the paying parent gets certain benefits.
• Reduced rate: income of £100.01 to £199.99 a week, worked out by a formula.
• Basic rate: income of £200 to £3,000 a week, worked out by a formula. Above £3,000 a week, the receiving parent can ask a court for more.

As a rough guide to the basic rate, the percentages are 12% of gross weekly income for one child, 16% for two and 19% for three or more, on income up to £800 a week, with lower percentages on income above that. (These figures are from nidirect, which uses the same 2012 scheme. [8]) The easiest way to get a figure for your family is the free child maintenance calculator. The details you enter aren't sent to the DWP. [7]

Shared care reduces the amount

If the children stay overnight with the paying parent, the amount goes down. For each child: [6]

• 52 to 103 nights a year: reduced by one-seventh;
• 104 to 155 nights: by two-sevenths;
• 156 to 174 nights: by three-sevenths;
• 175 nights or more: by half, plus an extra £7 a week.

That's one reason it helps to keep an accurate shared calendar of where the children actually sleep, not just what was planned.

Paying through the CMS: Direct Pay or Collect and Pay

Once the CMS has worked out an amount, there are two ways to pay: [9]

• Direct Pay: the paying parent pays the receiving parent directly, and there are no collection fees.
• Collect and Pay: the CMS collects and passes on the money. A fee of 20% is added to what the paying parent pays, and 4% is taken from what the receiving parent gets.

Changes are planned. In June 2025 the government said it would remove Direct Pay and move all CMS cases into a single collection service, with lower fees (2% for receiving parents and for paying parents who pay on time, and 20% for paying parents who don't). This needs new law and is aimed at 2027 to 2028, so it wasn't in force when we checked in October 2026. [10]

The "extras": what isn't covered

CMS maintenance is a contribution to everyday costs. It doesn't set out who pays for things like school trips, uniform, clubs, music lessons or a new bike. Those are for you to agree, and they're where many disagreements start. Some ideas that help:

• Agree categories in advance. For example: "uniform and school trips 50/50; clubs agreed before signing up; birthday presents from each home separately".
• Agree a threshold. Small things under an agreed amount are just paid by whoever has the children; anything over it is agreed first.
• Keep the receipt and share it promptly. A photo of the receipt sent the same week is far easier than a stack of them at the end of term.
• Agree a settle-up rhythm, such as monthly, so balances don't build up.
• Write down what you agree. Memories differ, especially months later.

Talking about money without a fight

Cafcass, the service that represents children in family courts in England, says ongoing conflict is bad for children and for parents. [11] Some practical ways to keep money conversations calm:

• Keep it in writing and about the children: what the cost is, why it's needed and when. Our co-parenting communication tips have example wording.
• Never pass messages about money through the children.
• If you disagree with a cost, say why, briefly, and suggest an alternative.
• If you're stuck, a family mediator can help you agree. Gov.uk links to the Family Mediation Council's mediator search from its private arrangements page. [2]

Getting help

• CMS helpline: 0800 171 2345 (Welsh: 0800 232 1979), Monday to Friday, 8am to 6pm. [12]
• Citizens Advice and MoneyHelper give free, independent help with money after separation. See our free help guide.

Sources

1. Gov.uk, Child Maintenance Service: gov.uk/child-maintenance-service
2. Gov.uk, Making a private child maintenance arrangement: gov.uk/child-maintenance-service/private-arrangement
3. Gov.uk, How to apply to the Child Maintenance Service: gov.uk/child-maintenance-service/how-to-apply
4. Gov.uk news, Child Maintenance Service reformed (12 February 2024), including removal of the £20 application fee: gov.uk
5. Gov.uk, Who can use the Child Maintenance Service: gov.uk/child-maintenance-service/eligibility
6. Gov.uk, How child maintenance is worked out: gov.uk/how-child-maintenance-is-worked-out
7. Gov.uk, Calculate your child maintenance: gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
8. nidirect, Child maintenance rates explained (2012 scheme): nidirect.gov.uk
9. Gov.uk, Child maintenance payments: gov.uk/child-maintenance-service/payments
10. Gov.uk, Government response: improving the collection and transfer of child maintenance payments (23 June 2025): gov.uk
11. Cafcass, Mediation and dispute resolution: cafcass.gov.uk
12. Gov.uk, Contact the Child Maintenance Service: gov.uk/child-maintenance-service/contact

All sources checked on 8 October 2026.